Martin Bredesen

> Rules that guys wished girls knew……….
> 1. If you think you’re fat, you probably are. Don’t
> ask us.
> 2. Learn to work the toilet seat: if it’s up put it
> down.
> 3. Don’t cut your hair. Ever.
> 4. Birthdays, Valentines, and Anniversaries are not
> quests to see
> if hecan find the perfect present, again!
> 5. If you ask a question you don’t want an answer to,
> expect an
> answer youdon’t want to hear.
> 6. Sometimes, he’s not thinking about you. Live with
> it.
> 7. Don’t ask him what he’s thinking about unless you
> are prepared
> to discuss such topics as navel lint, the shotgun
> formation and
> monster trucks.
> 8. Get rid of your cat. And no, it’s not different,
> it’s just like
> every other cat.
> 9. Dogs are better than ANY cats. Period.
> 10. Sunday = Sports. It’s like the full moon or the
> changing of the
> tides.Let it be.
> 11. Shopping is not sport.
> 12. Anything you wear is fine. Really.
> 13. You have enough clothes.
> 14. You have too many shoes.
> 15. Crying is blackmail. Use it if you must, but don’t
> expect us to
> like it.
> 16. Your brother is an idiot, your ex-boyfriend is an
> idiot and
> your Dad probably is too.
> 17. Ask for what you want. Subtle hints don’t work.
> 18. No, he doesn’t know what day it is. He never will.
> Mark
> anniversaries on a calendar.
> 19. Yes, pissing standing up is more difficult than
> peeing from
> point blank range. We’re bound to miss sometimes.
> 20. Most guys own two to three pairs of shoes-what
> makes you think
> we’d be any good at choosing which pair, out of
> thirty, would look good
> with your dress?
> 21. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers.
> 22. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem.
> See a doctor.
> 23. Your Mom doesn’t have to be our best friend.
> 24. Foreign films are best left to foreigners.
> 25. Check your oil.
> 26. Don’t give us 50 rules when 25 will do.
> 27. Don’t fake it. We’d rather be ineffective than
> deceived.
> 28. It is neither in your best interest nor ours to
> take the quiz
> together.
> 29. Anything we said 6 or 8 months ago is inadmissible
> in an
> argument. All comments become null and void after 7
> days.
> 30. If you don’t dress like the Victoria’s Secret
> girls, don’t
> expect us to act like soap opera guys.
> 31. If something we said can be interpreted two ways,
> and one of
> the ways makes you sad and angry, we meant the other
> one.
> 32. Let us ogle. If we don’t look at other women, how
> can we know
> how pretty you are?
> 33. Don’t rub the lamp if you don’t want the genie to
> come out.
> 34. You can either ask us to do something OR tell us
> how you want
> it done- not both.
> 35. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to
> say during
> commercials
> 36. Christopher Columbus didn’t need directions, and
> neither do we.
> 37. Women wearing Wonderbras and low-cut blouses lose
> their right
> to complain about having their boobs stared at.
> 38. Consider Golf a mini-vacation from you. We need
> it, just like
> you do.
> 39. Telling us that the models in the men’s magazines
> are
> airbrushed makes you look jealous and petty and it’s
> certainly not going to
> deter us from reading the magazines.
> 40. The relationship is never going to be like it was
> the first two
> months we were going out.
> 41. Anyone can buy condoms